While I don't necessarily consider myself a risk taker, I do like to take certain risks, and this was prevalent at a young age. It was circa 1993 and I was 5 years old when the babysitter's son challenged me to a game of pride and ego. We decided it would be an excellent idea to jump off the side of a staircase at the point where the step sticks out past the handrail. The winner would be whoever wasn't chicken enough to jump off the highest step. Of course I had to get caught in the act, and right when we were almost at the last step! The babysitter tugged at my shirt and as I let go, my left leg crossed inward. I hit the ground half 'indian-style' and it broke. Fast forward to September 11th, 2019, a day already to never forget but now I will also think of it as the day I let peer pressure, pride and ego influence me to make a poor choice. It all began when we arrived at the gym around 8:00pm. Tom-a-roni and Sammy were discussing a particular green-taped route in the gym. Sammy was busy 'stroking my ego' by telling Tom that I had climbed the route the week before, in gym shoes no less- (I had forgotten mine) and that I had onsighted it. Another climber in the gym was having trouble with the start and said they would like to see the 'short person' beta and they would be happy to watch me climb it. I was only going to do the start (effectively a boulder problem) so I clipped the auto-belay back. Little did I know that the bottom portion of the route had been changed, and I could no longer get the start. I fell several times before I decided to jump left for the next hold. With a flow of adrenaline and a one-track mind I pushed off the first hold and lunged for the second. As I grabbed the second hold, my feet cut away from the wall. I tried quickly to purchase my right foot back on the small holds to the right, but as I got my right foot up my left hand slipped, sending me left-foot first to the ground. It was only about 4 feet up but the "pop" noise was distinct; I was pretty sure what happened. After playing girls lacrosse in high school in addition to coaching and officiating the sport, I've seen a lot of ACL injuries. I couldn't stand up or straighten my leg, but as I sat there, I slowly straightened it back out. There goes another "pop". Maybe it went back in?! Oh well. I got up and hobbled around for a bit. It didn't seem that bad. Sammy and I went out for a couple beers at Intracoastal and then we went home.  Day 2 ANALYSIS
Sitting here now 2 days later- with a 2/3 torn ACL, partial tear of the MCL and nothing but time and no activities that I love- I think about how I got to this point. People might say 'there was nothing you could've done' but in fact there were several things that did not feel right about the situation. Usually if there's a big crowd of people I don't try to show off or if someone asks me to 'show them the beta' I don't usually 'give in', (I've hurt myself doing that before, though not as bad- sometimes I question if they want me to hurt myself?!) but this time I did. I already did this route and it didn't seem that hard when I did it, so I thought it would be easy. After not completing the starting move the first few times, I should've just sat down, but then I had so much ego (I really wanted to get the move and show everyone how to do it!) that I didn't put the auto-belay on before trying to jump for it (still well below even the top of the bouldering cave height). LESSONS HOPEFULLY LEARNED- DON"T FORGET! I think the lessons here are basically two things:
I feel really bad for making this mistake because it makes our sport look bad. Sure, ACL injuries are common in tons of other sports and people can also tear them while reaching for a bar of soap in the shower, but doing it while climbing someone will say " I told you it was a dangerous sport!" This injury was totally preventable, I guess as so many are in climbing (rapping off the end of your lines, not putting in pro when you very well could have, and tons of other examples). I guess what makes this accident different to me is that I don't feel it's really climbing related. Many times as climbers we put ourselves into risky situations that we feel we can handle and if something happens, then it happens- we accepted that risk. I had let my guard down in the gym, thinking nothing could happen to me there. I think this entry from Arno's blog really sums it up: "...let’s say I climb well and succeed on a route. Some people will judge me as a great climber because I succeeded, while others will judge me as a showoff. Let’s say I fall and fail on a route. Some people will judge me as a great climber because I gave my best effort, while others will judge me as unskilled because I fell. I’m judged positively and negatively regardless of the outcomes I created. Focusing on desiring compliments or avoiding criticisms shift our attention to what we can’t control. We feel like a success or a failure based on other people’s judgments, not on how we feel about our effort. Instead of this unhealthy mindset, we should shift our focus away from these judgements. Knowing that we’ll be judged regardless of the outcomes we create helps us shift our attention to what we actually can control: ourselves. ...We’re neither successes nor failures based on our achievements or others’ judgments. By pausing and shifting our attention to our effort, we develop peace of mind. Our mind peacefully takes in information, processes it for intelligent value, and utilizes or discards it. The whole process becomes part of the learning journey we’re engaged in. We don’t worry about other people judging us for the grade we climb or if we fall. We focus completely on our climbing and enjoy it."
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This past weekend, Sammy and I left our sea level home in Florida for 5,280ft called Denver airport. We booked a hut with the 10th mountain division hut system, which offers a pretty diverse selection of huts... but they fill up fast. The ones leftover by this time of year usually involve long walk-ins or are in otherwise difficult to reach places. The Section House was going to be one of the easier huts to get to that was still available, so I signed us up!  Boreas Pass Section House. Photo credit: Sam Golden I should mention that we are backcountry noobs- this was only going to be our 3rd hut trip- our first trip was also with 10th mountain division, but it was the easiest hut to get to and the most luxurious: Shrine Mountain Inn (Jay's Cabin); just 2.7 miles away. Man, was that one nice compared to the second hut, which was actually a yurt. The difference between a hut and a yurt is that huts are typically structurally sound, whereas a yurt is basically a piece of fabric wrapped around some wooden frame. Our first hut was more like a cabin; it had running water, a propane stove, bathrooms inside...pretty sweet. The yurt had a wood-burning stove that we couldn't keep from smoking up the entire place and an outhouse that smelled like rotting bean dip and barfed enchiladas. A little after a week from booking the Section House hut, the avalanche report covered Colorado red, with historic avalanches likely. A few weeks later however, a snow storm came in, which compressed the most notorious layers and made the conditions relatively safe again. Some last minute plans allowed our friend Troy to meet up with us and some of his friends, making for a 6 person trek along boreas pass road.  Entering the backcountry up in Canada at Whistler-Blackcomb a few years ago! We skinned up precisely 6.4 miles to the hut, the longest we've traveled so far to get to one. Luckily, the weather was on our side!...until some dark clouds rolled in. It's hard to describe what a snowstorm looks like before it snows, the sky is dark but also entirely white. We had left the parking lot around 7:45AM; it was now three hours later with white-out conditions. I couldn't see more than 100 feet in any direction while my heel (which is supposed to be detached from the ski so you can step and slide easily forward) gets locked down mid-air, thrusting me backward abruptly, halting all forward progress. My binding plate was a bit messed up due to the fact that our split-boards are home-made (special thanks to Ed Hall, Carbo, and Sammy :D ) and some of the parts were just not screwed down tight enough. Sammy was right behind me trying not to smack into me every time this happened. We were separated from the rest of the group now; they were all in front of us as I was definitely the slowest and just glad Sammy had stayed with me. Did I mention it's hard to breathe up here? I could only manage to see one person in the distance and tried to follow them as best I could, but the snow storm was making it difficult as they inched further and further away. "Are we going the right way?" Ohh no. This is not what I wanted to hear right now. Even though we have a compass and map I needed more practice with navigation! We have to be really close by now. It's so cold and windy, I can't feel my hands, or the squashed pinky toes and blisters on my heel anymore as we picked up the pace to keep the last person in sight. As they disappeared somewhere off to the left a couple in snowshoes appeared. They told us we were almost there, it was right around the corner now, and they had left the hut in good condition for us. We thanked them for their reassurance and kept going. We were at the hut within 5 minutes. The change in elevation was not something I had taken into account before booking this hut. We were now at 11,481ft and had covered an elevation gain of 1,130ft in 4 hours. Sammy and I burst into the hut getting snow everywhere as we struggled with our heavy packs to kick off our snow boots and put them by the fire. I quickly ate up all the snack food and my lunch sandwich; maybe I should've brought more food. We sat around and got to know one another, exchanging stories of adventure and discussing our general distaste for most people. It was 2:00PM when we decided to head out again to get in some pow-pow shred gnar! Rachel in our group acted as our guide and broke trail for us just below the summit of some peak across from Boreas Mountain. All of the slopes on this peak were under 30 degrees indicating it would be pretty unlikely for an avalanche to occur here, though of course still possible. As the snow picked up again we headed down the thick, untouched powder moving from the open ridge line down through the trees and ending in a nice flat spot...Time for more hiking!  In shred mode! As we sat in the hut I could feel my head aching. I kept my head on a pillow while trying hard to pay attention to the chatter. I didn't feel like eating though I forced some spaghetti down. As I stepped upstairs to bed I could feel my heartbeat racing. I started to get really hot, partially due to the propane stove burning, but also from the onset of a fever. The wind was howling, and this 'recently renovated' shack built in 1882 was basically about to blow over. The wind was blowing so hard you could see the snow piling up outside the window, slowly burying the hut. At 3:00AM I had to go to the bathroom which meant bundling up, grabbing a headlamp and braving the cold. The door wouldn't open, something the couple we had met the previous day had said they struggled with for nearly an hour. Finally, the pin released and about 3 feet of snow collapsed inside. I moved quickly up and over the snow pile to "the john" which was in pretty nice condition aside from all the snow that now covered the floor, toilet seat, and toilet paper. My stuffy nose was running now, and the wind slapped snow into my face which stuck on. The rest of the night provided no sleep and my brain felt as if it had been bathing in lighter fluid, every time I opened my eyes I checked to see if it was light out yet. Surely, the wind will stop when it's light out... I thought for sure we were going to be stuck up here. I had been drinking water all day and night long, but it didn't seem to help. Finally some relief came in the morning when Troy asked if anyone wanted his extra banana. Thank you, dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, for this banana, because I almost instantly felt better. We packed up all our gear and prepared for the 1.5 mile hike across the barren, wind-blown mountainside, hopefully making it across without getting knocked downhill before reaching the safety of the trees.  So windy!
 The cure for altitude sickness?! |
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